In the midst of the post-hollyday depression, coupled with the “I'm not getting any sales!” panic this past weekend, I started wandering around the Internetz, as I'm wont to do in times of stress. (And yes, I know this isn't the most productive way to handle stress, but as you'll see, it's not necessarily the worst either.)
And along the way, I realized something. Several things, actually.
1. I realized that, without intending to, Mike & I had been slowly edging ourselves back towards a business model that hasn't been working for us for a long time, if indeed it ever truly did. And that that model, even if we could get it to work for us, wasn't what either Mike or I wanted out of either our business or our lives. So what on Earth were we doing, trying to go back to that place???
Looking for security, that's what.
Especially in times of stress, the tendency of the human animal is to go for the familiar, even if that familiar is no good for it. (Horses going back into burning stables. 'Nuff said.) It's scary, out on the Borderlands. That's what fear is, or is supposed to be, at any rate – a way of letting ourselves know that we are on the border to something new. It was never supposed to be about terrifying us into staying put, especially in no-good situations. It just became that way as time passed and humans forgot.
2. I realized that I'm not alone. Posts like this ( http://ittybiz.com/when-you-feel-like-a-raging-failure/ ) show me that I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed & alone at times. Posts like this (http://www.copyblogger.com/the-secret-of-life/ ), show me that I'm not alone in having chosen a major health crises to show me that I needed to change my life and suggest how to do it. Posts like this (http://menwithpens.ca/afraid-success-bet ), and this (http://ittybiz.com/entrepreneurship-what-to-do-when-youre-scared-shtless/ )and this (http://remarkablogger.com/2009/07/08/how-to-quit-your-job-divorce-your-wife-and-be-a-successful-blogger-at-the-same-time/ ), showed me a mirror to hold up to myself and ask myself “Why not me? Why shouldn't I go for my Dreams? They did it. I can too!”
3. I realized (again) that I do indeed know what I want to do with my life, better than anyone else does, and that I need to be just getting on with it. Knock off this fear stuff and get a move on! So what if there are those who will think I'm crazy, who will disagree with me, who may even stop liking me because of what I say/do/believe? There'd be those people anyway, no matter what I do, or don't do, in my life. So, again, what's stopping me?
4. I realized from reading these great posts listed above, that what I want to do anyway is also, by wonder-full co-incidence, just the very things that will get me to where I want to be – following my Dream, being my Authentic Self, speaking & writing in My Very Own Voice. Woo-hoo, I say! Happy Days, Happy Bird! :-)
I'm fired up, I tell you. Quietly so – the Phoenyx is on low-flame tonight, but it's a strong-burning flame nonetheless. A flame of Persistent Passion, if you will. Kenaz, the flame of the Creative Torch, lighting the darkness of a late Fall evening, and the darkness of a post-hollyday depression and the darkness of a fear of failure & disconnection.
Not bad for a couple of days of 'goofing off', wouldn't you say?
So as that flame crackles quietly to itself, lighting the darknessess, I leave you with this question...
Are you following your Dreams?
Bright Blessings & Good Fortune! :-)
-Bird
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